Things Feminists Are Tired Of Hearing

Finish this sentence: I’m not a feminist because…

I don’t hate men: same! Omfg we clearly have so much in common, let’s legit go get waffles sometime. But in all seriousness, I don’t understand how this stereotype is still circulating. I’ve never met a feminist who hates men and I don’t even think the people who claim ‘all feminists hate men’ have ever met a feminist who hates men, they’d just rather take quotes from one misandrist, pro-guns campaigner on Twitter than listen to the truth from the tens of actual feminists around them. Yes, feminism advocates for women’s rights but it does this to achieve equality- which in turn benefits men. Because we love men. Especially ones with beards.

I don’t hate women: same! Omfg we clearly need to go for waffles too but my schedule’s a little booked up with all the newly converted male feminists rn so you might be waiting a while. In even more seriousness, I don’t even understand how this argument works. Surely, if you’re not calling yourself a feminist then that insinuates you hate women because you’re saying you don’t want them to be equal? Or maybe you’re just confused. Get some party rings in you and then come back with less ambiguity pls. 

I’m not angry: I spent my childhood bopping to Tragedy (the Steps version, obviously) but never had I truly understood the lyrics until Kim Kardashian said she wasn’t a feminist because she wasn’t angry. Does KK have any idea how much petrol I’ve used to fuel my vocal engine in defending pretty much everything she’s ever done on the ground that she’s a feminist boss? And then she goes and drops the misogyny mic?

Obviously, I’m sour about this, not just because Kim has such a huge audience and her negative perception of the F-bomb will no doubt rub onto them, but also because it’s so untrue. I’m not angry (unless I’m on my period or you nab my very much pre-booked-a-week-in-advance spinning bike. Number 6 is mine, k middle-aged woman in the Sweaty Betty joggers). Maybe if she’d said ‘miserable’ or something I could’ve agreed, but ‘angry’? If being politically aware and calling people out for being Trump supporters makes us angry then so be it, but shouldn’t you be applauding us? Pls?

 

I don’t really care: She says from the comfort of a WordPress post, uploaded with her BT Infinity fibre-optic broadband, sipping the pumpkin spice latte she bought for herself with the money she earned from her part-time mechanical engineering job which she works around her Open University environmental management degree. Look at all the fabulous things you have! (Except the Starbucks drink, I feel for you on that one.) I don’t get why you wouldn’t want these things for other babs. A lifestyle where you can’t drive a car without your husband or walk down a street without being assaulted, seems a lot more disruptive than the 15 minutes added to your morning commute to avoid a Free The Nipple protest. And I guess that when the rights we’re fighting for are granted- scrapping tampon tax to name one amirightladies- you’ll be all over those reduced panty liners like an urban sprawl.

I’m an egalitarian: People don’t just say they’re an egalitarian, they have this habit of sauntering past the feminist society posters on display beside the college’s condom dispenser, flip their hair over their shoulder as if they’re being attacked by a wasp and announce in an I-should-have-been-asked-to-read-the-Plato’s-Republic-audiobook voice ‘I’m an egalitarian’. They say it as if they’ve discovered something better, in a kind of ‘I don’t need gender equality because I’ve got this label instead’ way, which is ironic because if you believe in equality for everyone, as egalitarians do, then you believe in gender equality by default, and therefore you’re a feminist. Hehe.

Women don’t know what they want: People majorly complicate feminism for themselves. Of course, there are some mega conflicting parts of the movement e.g.  I’m still literally 8 miles away from a conclusion about how I feel re the sexualisation of women and make that 9 miles when it comes to gender quotas in the workplace, but overall it’s pretty simple. Women want equal rights. If you want that too then welcome to team Fem, leave your measurements at the door n we’ll fit you with a jacket. If you don’t want that then you’re just a bit gross really.

I’m already equal: Don’t get me wrong, it’s fab that in the UK we’re not burnt as witches or stoned to death, but that doesn’t make us instantly the same as men and to silence our problems would be like telling Rosa Parks to stop making a fuss because at least she had a seat on that bus- regardless of whether it was the gum encrusted seat in the back row with no window view and ‘Lola u ho’ etched into it with a paperclip. But even more than that, there are billions of women that don’t even have a fraction of what we have. If not for you, support the movement on behalf of them. Global community n all that.

Teamales, what are your responses to justifications like these? Comment below for feminist chats.