Was Love Island A Feminist Show?

Like most young adults, I was hooked on Love Island, but while I was watching I couldn’t help thinking about its anti-feminist undertones and so I’ve finally compiled them all and I’m ready to ruin the world’s favourite show. Sorry in advance.

Diversity Fails: When will the media learn that adding one Black person doesn’t instantly make a show diverse. It’s 2017 and still blindingly obvious that the producers have gone ‘ooh looks a bit like a box of Jacob’s crackers at the moment – let’s add Marcel to prevent bad reviews.’ Usually critics of diversity say ‘well maybe the white heterosexual cis person was just the most qualified for the job’ but that doesn’t work here because you literally just need swimwear and a summer without plans to qualify for the show, which I’m sure many People of Colour, members of the LGBT+ community and those with different nationalities all had too.

The Frigid/Slag Divide: Jonny broke up with Camilla after four weeks because she hadn’t done more than kiss him. Seriously? Four weeks really isn’t that long and it sends such a strange message to girls watching the show who could start feeling pressure to washing machine after the first date in case their partner dumps them. Also, why are we placing the ‘frigid’ label on Cam when actually it could be Jonny’s fault – maybe all his dick went into his personality so there wasn’t much left down there for her to play with? The possibilities are endless. Then on the other end of the spectrum you’ve got an internet calling Amber a slag because she had sex a few times (and one of them involved the instant aphrodisiac of a captain’s hat so we can’t even blame her for that one). Ladies! We can all do this whole love thing at our own speeds. There is no morally right way – let’s drop the labels.

Controversial Thoughts on Sarah Ashcroft

Unless you live under a rock (which tbh would be goals at the moment) then you will have seen your Twitter feed explode with anger at this blogger that no one’s really heard of called Sarah Ashcroft and her interview with Cosmo>. The thing is, I’ve read the piece and, while it comes across as self-indulgent, I don’t disagree with everything she says…

I wanted to offer new and fresh content every post, but it came with a lot of pressure

Firstly, I thought this was a really honest thing to admit. I’m not a fashion blogger but I’ve seen posts from many who say they feel forced to spend all their money on Topshop trends to stay current. I live 75% of my life in pyjamas so my fashion blog would be duller than watching Formula 1. And trust me, that’s dull. So I get where she’s coming from.

I actually turned down ‘real’ jobs because it started to become a standalone thing

Maybe this seems bitchy because she’s using the ironic quote marks, but it’s also largely reflective of modern attitudes. Most people don’t blog with the expectation that it will become their main source of income- it’s often still not viewed as a ‘real’ job and I think this statement merely reflects her similar surprise.

Foundation Finding Struggle

I’m the first person to admit, my foundation is always wrong. Whether it’s the wrong shade, brand or coverage for my skin, it’s consistently slightly off in some way (even though everyone’s too polite to tell me, it’s kewl guys, I know). But as I’ve been talking to more people, I realise, we’re all kind of in the same boat- it seems no one really knows what colour sludge to rub across their face- and so I thought I’d compile a list of all the relatable struggles in the search for the perfect foundation.

The Impossible Shade Finding Experience: I go into Boots looking like your average Urban Outfitters It Girl yet I come out as a Dulux Colour Chart with every shade from porcelain to espresso swatched on my arm- even though 90% of the colours don’t even come close to my skin tone, once I’m 5 samples in I usually just think fuck it and collage my elbows with Chris Ofili-esque dotting and pretend I belong in the Tate Modern too. Until Boots run out of tissues. And so I have to walk my exhibit around with me for the rest of the day and risk being chased out of Topshop by the security guard for contaminating the fishnet tights with Rimmel.

But the problem is if you’re one of life’s risk-takers who doesn’t swatch, favouring a ‘grab the bottle which looks right’ approach, then you can face some dire consequences…

Bra Shopping Struggles

Bras are pretty weird. I don’t know who decided that women were going to add ‘sitting their chest fat in cotton breast-hammocks’ to their dressing routine but it’s now become a well-established part of our lives. However that doesn’t make transitioning into the world of bras any easier.

Nowadays I’m more of a bralette-on-a-weekday-free-the-nipple-on-a-Friday kinda gal, and perhaps this is due to the awkwardness of shopping for actual bras as a tween. Although now I’m pretty comfortable buying anything from granny pants to lingerie (however I do draw the line at those Lovehoney pants that have a hole in the bum) it hasn’t always been this way, so after the success of my A cup post, I thought I’d treat you to another highly traumatic relataboob struggle: bra shopping.

The Size System: The problem with growing boobs (not that I’d know) is that it all happens at a rate that takes you from aged 10-11 vests to the world of ‘letter and number-beginning-with-30’ combination before you’ve had time to raid Waterstones and find the Puberty for Dummy’s guide.  Is DD smaller than a D? Is 36 how old you have to be to wear the bra? Can I just hibernate in my vests a little longer until I work this completely random system out?

A Girl’s Guide to Festival BS

As fab as it’s been, festival season is almost finished- now we’re all counting down for the Christmas markets amiright my fellow German-gingerbread-shaped-heart lovers?- so I thought I’d share what I’ve learnt these past few months for anyone making their festival debut next year. (Art by the super talented Jesse Howarth who bossed her AS exams yass)

Fashun: Think Millie Mackintosh at Glastonbury. And then use that as a template for what you shouldn’t wear. Yes designed floral minidresses and faux fur wraps are cute but you won’t be helicoptered back to your VIP Winnebago at the end of every night so you have to approach this practically. Don’t wear anything that ends with ‘suit’ inc bodysuit, playsuit, swimsuit (unless you want your trophy cabinet to be fondled by strangers), jumpsuit, because you’ll have to spend 268 seconds longer in the portaloo and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Except Kanye.

A Girl’s Guide to Summer BS

Summer has officially hit Britain- and so has all the BS that comes with it. Luckily, we can navigate this together, and with the help of my incredible new illustrator, name twin and Twitter bestie, Jesse Howarth who’s going to be saving you from witnessing my awful blog photos as much as she can. You can follow her on Twitter here or Instagram here and be sure to give her lots o’ luv in the comments because she is Queen Babe.

The Bikini Buying BS: Despite what the Black Eyed Peas soundtracked shopping montage in every rom com tells us, bikini buying is impossible. Not only do shops seem to stop stocking them by August aka when I need one, but they’ve starting doing this ‘set’ business. My body is not a set, it’s a custom made ASOS marketplace order, so please don’t tell me that the size 8 bottoms will fit my size 12 arse simply because I need a size 8 top. Even the top sizing system alone makes no sense- like, what’s a size 10 cup? I don’t waltz into an M&S bra fitting expecting to be measured as an ‘8’ so why do this with bikini tops? In fact, why not just make bras waterproof and save the agro.

Art by Jesse Howarth

The Shaving BS: If summer doesn’t already leave you panicked at the prospect of removing all bodily hair, Veet have gone and added to the pressure with their BS new advert*.