Things I Hate About Blogging

I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet, but I’m actually a miserable bitch. However ‘miserable’ doesn’t really fit into the blogging world’s WordCloud, so we rarely talk about the bits of blogging that are actually really blady tedious/ piss us off/ make us do that eye roll disguised as puppy eyes emoji face. Here are the things I hate about blogging:

Auto DMs: Just in case following you on Twitter wasn’t enough, you decide to send me a novel’s worth of links from every social media you’ve ever even contemplated joining and remind me to check you out on all of them. Babe, as if I have time to go trace your family tree when you haven’t even followed me back yet. Plus DMs in general just feel really personal, I end up ignoring people who actually want to talk to me (apparently there are people out there that do, who knew?) because I just assume every DM I get is from the next Zoella promoting her floral Pinterest board. Stawp. 

A Girl’s Guide to Festival BS

As fab as it’s been, festival season is almost finished- now we’re all counting down for the Christmas markets amiright my fellow German-gingerbread-shaped-heart lovers?- so I thought I’d share what I’ve learnt these past few months for anyone making their festival debut next year. (Art by the super talented Jesse Howarth who bossed her AS exams yass)

Fashun: Think Millie Mackintosh at Glastonbury. And then use that as a template for what you shouldn’t wear. Yes designed floral minidresses and faux fur wraps are cute but you won’t be helicoptered back to your VIP Winnebago at the end of every night so you have to approach this practically. Don’t wear anything that ends with ‘suit’ inc bodysuit, playsuit, swimsuit (unless you want your trophy cabinet to be fondled by strangers), jumpsuit, because you’ll have to spend 268 seconds longer in the portaloo and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Except Kanye.

Read Me: Kiloran Magazine

Something a lil bit different this week Teamales, I’ve tried my hand at interviewing (hopefully I’ll be better at this than am I at choosing the right foundation shade). I caught up with the ultimate girl boss Lucy Harbron to talk about the latest edition of Kiloran, an online magazine which she created last year. As well as running a blog. And being the perfect feminist friend. Oh and btw she’s only 18. #GOALS. 

For anyone who isn’t familiar with your magazine, how would you describe it?

Kiloran is hard to describe as it’s just things created by people all across the world. I guess you could say it’s an arts/culture mag but it’s really just the product of amazing creative brains! We release twice a year (hopefully more soon) and give as little direction as possible so contributors are free to input whatever they want. I’d hope that Kiloran is a very open space- like a haven for young creators.

Tell me about the new issue! When’s it out? What’s it about? (cheeky rhyme) Favourite pieces? 

Child Marriage is a Thing

TW: Child marriage, assault and some pretty sad statistics

In the Western world ‘white feminism’ is the norm. In the media and equality movements in our society, issues surrounding already very privileged women are prioritised over issues affecting women of colour, transgender women, women outside of the United States of Great Britain, etc. This isn’t to say that Free The Nipple or catcalling aren’t important, neither is anyone suggesting that if you’re a white feminist you might as well go buy a Meninist hoodie and sell FHM subscriptions outside the Playboy mansion instead: for me, I simply want to strive to be as inclusive and intersectional as I can.

After all, my blog is very ‘white’. Most people have the tendency to focus on issues closer to home aka everything I’ve been blogging about for the past 18 months. I love people being able to laugh and relate to my posts, but at some point we have to look at the global picture again, with our serious hot-doctor-from-Holby-City-about-to-break-some-sad-news-to-the-family faces on and remember that for many women in the world life is shit.

Have You Heard The Breaking News?

Anyone who knows me will know I hate the Daily Mail and anyone who’s stalked my blog will know that my favourite type of post to write are those in which I take my feminist leafblower and rid ‘sidebar of shame’ articles of their misogyny. Because this isn’t journalism, if anything, this is the work of a thesaurus and a review of Milan fashion week who’ve met over fondue in the First Dates restaurant and decided to give the whole ‘news’ thing a go. We can use last week’s headlines for evidence: Now you see, I don’t know who Jess Impazzi is (although after a quick Google it’s actually Impiazzi, which shows that the DM’s priorities are clearly not with the poor girl’s identity) however it sounds a little bit like my porn star alter ego. What amazes me most about this headline- other than ‘why have they written about this?’ but that doesn’t count because that’s my reaction to all these articles- is where can you buy a bikini that isn’t ‘barely there’? Like, surely that’s the point. You’re not going to hit the beach in an argyle jumper and bell bottom jeans (unless it’s Blackpool, or the 70s). When it comes to swimwear the point is usually the less tanlines the better so what I think DM meant to say is: