A Girl’s Guide to Summer BS

Summer has officially hit Britain- and so has all the BS that comes with it. Luckily, we can navigate this together, and with the help of my incredible new illustrator, name twin and Twitter bestie, Jesse Howarth who’s going to be saving you from witnessing my awful blog photos as much as she can. You can follow her on Twitter here or Instagram here and be sure to give her lots o’ luv in the comments because she is Queen Babe.

The Bikini Buying BS: Despite what the Black Eyed Peas soundtracked shopping montage in every rom com tells us, bikini buying is impossible. Not only do shops seem to stop stocking them by August aka when I need one, but they’ve starting doing this ‘set’ business. My body is not a set, it’s a custom made ASOS marketplace order, so please don’t tell me that the size 8 bottoms will fit my size 12 arse simply because I need a size 8 top. Even the top sizing system alone makes no sense- like, what’s a size 10 cup? I don’t waltz into an M&S bra fitting expecting to be measured as an ‘8’ so why do this with bikini tops? In fact, why not just make bras waterproof and save the agro.

Art by Jesse Howarth

The Shaving BS: If summer doesn’t already leave you panicked at the prospect of removing all bodily hair, Veet have gone and added to the pressure with their BS new advert*.

Are #NOMAKEUP Selfies the Problem?

I’m in my sixth hour of waiting for a Hermes delivery, and therefore I have lots of time to do something I’m rather good at- thinking. Because I’ve decided I find #NoMakeup selfies really annoying.

Or should I say, I find the execution of #NoMakeup selfies really annoying; the idea behind them is actually pretty valuable. In a world where women are expected to paint their faces in Deep Throat (thanks NARS) and Label Whore (apparently Too Faced are at it as well), it’s a refreshing change to see some fresh faced babes gracing the internet, I just don’t think they’re fresh faced enough. Especially the celeb versions.

If makeup less selfies are supposed to remind us that everyone looks a bit dodgy

7 Things Only Tampon Fans Understand

I received the best email from the babes at Clue (for all of you living under a giant sanitary towel, unless you’re a man in which case your confusion is acceptable, Clue is an app that tracks your period) this week, saying I’d been accepted as one of their ambassadors who do great things like destigmatise menstruation and spread period positivity. Plus they sent me a badge of their logo which I can stick on my sidebar and look like one of those sponsored bloggers who has their shite together. Spoiler alert: if you saw the state of my fringe right now you’d know that this isn’t the case. However, it did get me thinking about my favourite parts of menstruating and thus (#BringBackThus) this post was born.

Tamproblems: 7 Things Only Tampon Fans Understand

1 Tampax are so blady expensive (excuse the pun, I feel this might be a popular one today) but I just lack emotional attachment to other brands. Lil-lets remind me too much of M&S flip flop pattern ‘bras’ from the Angel range and Clarks Daisy Velcro shoes, meanwhile Boots own brand is simply too cheap to consider being ethical. Like babes, what have you put in them to make them cost less than penny sweets? What are you trying to do to my vagina? Team Tampax every time. 

7 Deadly Sins

I was nominated by my go to girl (or should that be ex-go to girl since she bought the ABH Renaissance Palette and has emotionally deserted me wandering round Boots trying to work out what aisle the crease is in) Izzy from Daisy Chains in the Rain to do the seven deadly sins of makeup tag. Which is quite optimistic considering my brushes remaining unwashed for at least 3 months probably takes up 27 sins in itself. You can watch Izzy’s vid here (and cry bc her makeup is so perf- obvs don’t tell her I said that) and my nominations are:

Amanda Bae

Beth Bae

Jess Bae

Alex Bae (who is now self hosted!? Congrats b)

You can do this written on your blog, on YouTube or like idk as an interpretive dance if you really want I won’t judge.

Greed: What is your most in/expensive makeup item? 

I’m a bit of a bargain hunter so I find it genuinely difficult to spend lots of money on makeup because I have so much fun looking for cheaper prices (£19 for a brand new Naked Palette is this the real life is this just fantasy) however before the kitten was killed with curiosity and I was buying makeup at the same price as everyone else I got the £39 BareMinerals complexion kit. Obviously in the wrong colour (because I was about 14 and you’re not allowed to get the shade right at that age. Although tbh rather I suffer from severe skin colour dysmorphia or I’m just getting paler, I used to be a solid 4.0 in UD Naked Skin foundation and now I’m struggling to fit a 3.0. What happened beautiful tanned skin where are you now that I need you?) Cheapest item would probably be my £2 Kiko lipsticks.
Wrath: Which product do you have a love/hate relationship with?