The C-Word

Now series 1 of Raised By Wolves is over, other than count how many tears it takes to fill my massive mug and dilute my orange squash, I don’t know what Channel 4 expect me to do with my Monday nights. My current coping mechanism is to Pic Collage Caitlin Moran’s face onto the Queen and wait until I’m sued for copyright infringement:

Whilst we (Yes I’m using inclusive pronouns. It can’t be just me…) mourn the departure of Germaine, Aretha and of course Della- my life ambition- I thought it would be an appropriate time to celebrate one of my all time favourite C-words, Caitlin Moran, via her fabulously honest words of wisdom. (For anyone who doesn’t know who said awesome lady is, a brief description: think Laura Bates but with more eyeliner. And if you don’t know who Laura Bates is either then you need to go out more.)*

Have you heard the news?

Hey, Daily Mail *waves passionately, pulls out chair and offers seat* I think it’s time we had a little chat.

Because- serious face- here are some genuine articles I gathered from your website today and wow…I simply can’t believe the high intensity, groundbreaking news that your paper is producing these days. 

Thanks guys. Journalism at its finest. Don’t worry, I’ve changed your headline for you because I’m pretty sure it was supposed to say:

The (everso slightly but not really very) Big 1-6

With my 16th birthday approaching faster than the time it takes to get a drink in All Bar One, I thought I’d take a moment to disappoint my younger self with everything that doesn’t happen when you reach the first milestone of adulthood.

2009…Year of the hat, eh?

You don’t become one of THOSE women. The pedigree breed that can waltz into a vintage shop, pick up a capsule wardrobe of timeless pieces that, despite containing an array of contrasting trends, all just work and people would say, “Oh Jess, I love your (insert trendy upcycled item here)! Where did you get it?” And I’d swoon over my camomile tea and mutter, “Oh Dahrling, I wish I could make things easy for you but it was from a little retro market in Camden in 2004. I’m sure Debenhams will make a replica.” Yeah. You don’t become one of them.

Sia Or Not? So What!

We were having a lovely Easter Sunday: the end of Lent allowing chocolate for breakfast, a Spring stroll through Lambourn, even a seasonal Michael (googles spelling) McIntyre show compiling performances from comedians, magicians and musicians to watch whilst we scoffed our remaining Mini Eggs.

One of the musical interludes came from Sia (who, spoiler alert, I love).The 6 studio albumed sensation hit the stage with an oversized wig that hid her face so viewers could do nothing but listen to her Grammy nominated vocals. In short, she could only be judged by the music. Isn’t that what artists like Beyoncé constantly pester us do to? Avoid distractions, ignore obstructions, direct your focus on the most important factor: the music. I thought society shared this opinion (and let’s be honest, it’s the only thing most of us will ever share with Beyoncé)…

Spot the art scholar