Why We Should Go Easy On Russia

Ever since primary school Jess brought an Anastasia DVD from Woolworths, I have been obsessed with Russia. The fallen monarchy, Winter Palace, Russian dolls- even the Rasputin Cossack dance on that wii Just Dance game- I love it all. The problem is, as I’ve grown up, it’s proved quite a hard love to defend: Russia rigged the election, Russian doping scandal, Russia hates gays, whichever part of the internet you go to (unless it’s, like, Putin’s LinkedIn page) there’s at least one article which aligns with Reagan’s ‘Evil Empire’ view.

So this summer when my Russian friend offered me the chance to visit her hometown Izhevsk I was so excited to finally see whether the media was right.

It wasn’t. Now obviously I’m not denying Chechnya’s gay purge or the fact the government’s corrupt- we’ve all seen the Reggie Yates documentaries- but when we talk about Russia we seem to solely focus on demonising it, which is strange considering every country has flaws and when I visited I was amazed by how normal it felt. So here’s why I think we should go easier on the planet’s largest country:  Continue reading

Why Blogging Is A Waste Of Time

There was a time when I blogged every week. Every single week. I look back at that now and lol too hard because recently I’ve taken a spontaneous month break and before that I was posting anywhere between 0 and 3 times a week. Essentially, I’ve become the unorganised blogger which I vowed I would never be. But then I realised that having a break was actually really nice, because sometimes- for me anyway- blogging is a waste of time. Here’s why:

I have to spend ages online: Whether it’s scheduling tweets to promote myself or hyping up posts about palettes I don’t really care about with heart eye emojis or even just gramming photos for the sake of staying relevant in the algorithm, everything involves the internet. When I’m blogging, I turn my laptop off at the end of the night and my eyes burn because I’ve spent so long staring at a screen. During my blogging breaks life is the opposite- I’m outside working on my tan lines or seeing friends that I’ve neglected, I don’t have to worry about spending an hour in a twitter chat because instead I’m having an actual conversation with the barman in Wetherspoons who’s trying to tell me that they’ve run out of Sourz cherry and so can’t make me yet another pitcher of Purple Rain. Don’t get me wrong, I love connecting with people online but spending hours of my day trying to grow my brand only to find out they haven’t clicked on my links in return makes it a huge Zeitverschwendung. (Yes that’s German for waste of time and yes I’m trying to make use of my German A-level before I forget it all, just roll with it.)  Continue reading

What To Expect When You’re Expecting To Be Found

When it comes to blogging, youtubing (because I like to invent verbs), vlogging and other regretfully Zoella- inspired activities, there is only one outcome: people will find you. And sadly by that I don’t mean international recognition and 2 million followers on Twitter. No, when you start blogging- just like when you join Facebook- all the friends you haven’t seen since 2005 come crawling out the wormholes in the woodwork to judge you and your creation. But mainly just you.

So seeing as most people reading this will be bloggers, except from you Rosie Bayliss who’s just a creepy eco stalker, I thought we could discuss the thing that even the bearers of the biggest blogger vanities fear: being found. Cosmopolitman

Phase 1: Why is no one following me?

So you’ve picked your domain name, chosen your theme (which will probably be the Sela one let’s be realistic here my fellow WordPressers) and written your first post, written your second post, written your third- it’s then that you realise no one is reading them. This doesn’t mean they’re rubbish pieces of writing, although if it’s in your archives it probably will be, it just means people can’t find you. And in your bewildered naivety, you think this is a bad thing. Continue reading

The Anti F-Word Series: Meninism

If you are reading this a quick hi 5 to WordPress for posting this as I’m currently without internet in the south of France (first world problems) and have had to schedule this to upload today, if not then technology has failed me once again please don’t cry in my absence. Remember to follow/like/comment and I’ll reply ASAP (or ASAIC as soon as I can. Why has no one made this a thing? It summarises my situation so much better).rsz_photo_06-07-2015_14_44_15

Over the next few weeks I will be posting a three part exploration into antifeminism starting today with Meninism, the belief that – if I’m honest I’m not really sure. There are almost a million followers to the main meninist twitter account, so many in fact they’ve opened an online shop where you can buy labelled merchandise which keeps selling out (hopefully because feminists are buying it to fuel their fires over the coming Winter months) but their actual political views are clouded by their unnecessary meanness. I don’t think they work completely against gender equality, but deny the feminist label and the idea that Western women need help. Funly (great word) ironical fact: when the group started expanding in 2001, a Meninist was an abbreviated version of male feminist and they even had a totally 00s looking website discussing their kick ass values. Now we have a moment of silence for the death of Times New Roman. And the niceness of original meninism. Continue reading

Emoji Invasion

After  the purchase of every iProduct- before going to put the kettle on or have a panic wee- users immediately install the emoji keyboard. It’s like the unwritten iLaw (can I copyright that?) that you must have and regularly use these so called symbols in everyday life and while I usually agree, after a laborious analysis of my set I can’t help wondering for some of them: “Apple, wtf were you thinking?”

Have you every properly stopped and stared at the random little creatures right next door to the yellow crying emoji face that you always use despite not being able to tell if it’s happy or sad? Have you ever debated with your emoji using friends whether THOSE HANDS (we all know the ones) are hi-5ing or praying? If not, then good. Because I’m about to analyse them for you.

Emoji invasion 1: Running Man Photo 01-06-2015 16 42 02

Continue reading