Why Blogging Is A Waste Of Time

There was a time when I blogged every week. Every single week. I look back at that now and lol too hard because recently I’ve taken a spontaneous month break and before that I was posting anywhere between 0 and 3 times a week. Essentially, I’ve become the unorganised blogger which I vowed I would never be. But then I realised that having a break was actually really nice, because sometimes- for me anyway- blogging is a waste of time. Here’s why:

I have to spend ages online: Whether it’s scheduling tweets to promote myself or hyping up posts about palettes I don’t really care about with heart eye emojis or even just gramming photos for the sake of staying relevant in the algorithm, everything involves the internet. When I’m blogging, I turn my laptop off at the end of the night and my eyes burn because I’ve spent so long staring at a screen. During my blogging breaks life is the opposite- I’m outside working on my tan lines or seeing friends that I’ve neglected, I don’t have to worry about spending an hour in a twitter chat because instead I’m having an actual conversation with the barman in Wetherspoons who’s trying to tell me that they’ve run out of Sourz cherry and so can’t make me yet another pitcher of Purple Rain. Don’t get me wrong, I love connecting with people online but spending hours of my day trying to grow my brand only to find out they haven’t clicked on my links in return makes it a huge Zeitverschwendung. (Yes that’s German for waste of time and yes I’m trying to make use of my German A-level before I forget it all, just roll with it.)  Continue reading

Why We’re All Fake AF Bloggers

Last week I tweeted this. I then received a text from my friend, Maria- who’s also a blogger and food instagrammer– saying ‘you really perfected the blogging voice there. You sound nothing like real life. You never use the word ‘ladies’ and the fire emoji makes you cringe.’I realised I had adopted The Blogger Voice.

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed it, or if this is an appropriate way to define it but TBV seems to be when, in order to appeal to your audience, you use a different, less controversial, emoji-fied voice, that is ultimately fake af. It’s the voice that means YouTubers start their video with the strained, high-pitched hiiiii guysssss, or that forces beauty bloggers to looooove a lipstick when conversationally they’d be like ‘oh yeah Velvet Teddy, I’ve tried it, it’s pretty good’. Even when I skimmed Maria’s social media, it was flooded in a tone that sounded nothing like her irl (although hello to that sexy veggie jar). m faf.png

TBV’s influence extends further than voice- how flatlay accounts on instagram are now The Done Thing, or your blog name should be something like ‘your first name followed by your middle name.com’ or ‘random white girl noun and another white girl noun.co.uk.’ In my own tweet, Real Life Jess would say Continue reading

Things I Hate That You Love

In the overly optimistic Zoella-esque blogging world, I would start this 2 post series off with the ‘Things I Love That You Hate’ list. Sadly, I’m just way too negative for that. So after witnessing what my fellow youth of today are fangirling over, and having been inspired by my new fave film (10 Things I Hate About You) I thought I’d compile my feelings towards the world’s current faves.

Autumn: For me, autumn’s that quarter on a four seasons pizza that you eat simply because you don’t want to leave any takeaway evidence in the bin. Don’t get me wrong the leaves turn a pretty colour and I’m literally counting down the degrees until I can get back into tights again, but I’d rather fast forward the super dark evenings, PSL and Halloween.

Halloween: Yep, you heard right, I really don’t like Halloween (which is weird because I find any excuse to celebrate anything). Every year I carve my pumpkin- not a euphemism- watch a load of Halloween hauls and start wearing 30% more black than normal, but none of this seems to fill the Scrooge-like hole inside of me.  Continue reading

Panic Monster Abroad (part 2)

Teamales, I made it. This time last week I was in New York City, despite what felt like hundreds of nights made sleepness by my level of worrying, I went, I conquered and I blady loved it. In the part one of this post I discussed all my travelling fears (you can find that bad boy here– although if you work for border control and/or are an angsty flyer, I imagewould recommend giving it a miss) so now I’m going to return to that piece, re-evaluate whether those things were worth worrying about and what thoughts I actually should’ve been prioritising.

But firstly, the winner of my Blogiversary Giveaway is……… the darling Victoria from Viicreative (it’s in the post as we speak)

Thank you to everyone who entered, tweeted about it, sent links to friends and were just generally lovely- hopefully things will be even bigger if I can make it to year 2! Continue reading

My Femme Cup

Since WordPress has updated, my faith in scheduling posts has massively increased so hopefully you’ll be reading this at around 8pm on a Monday (while I’m up the empire state building or in central park or trying to translate my accent into an American friendly one- be ready for a Panic Monster Abroad part 2 next week). Today, however, I thought I’d reintroduce an ongoing project (blogject?) on HGHT. You may have noticed one of the tabs at the top of the screen is ‘The Femme Cup’ which, to cut a long story short, is a tag about fcfeminism. I nominate a few people each week and I’ve received some really interesting responses so far but I realised that I myself have never taken part in my own tag. #Awks. So here we are: my femme cup.

Are you a feminist? Yes. I never used to like that label but now I want to fling mouldy sausage rolls at my 14 year old ignorance. It’s very easy in the Western world to both sugar-coat the society you live in and assume your rights are held by women elsewhere. Denying there aren’t gender inequalities does nothing except indicate your lack of world-awareness and incapability to make social progress- 2 attributes that you’d hardly be sticking on your CV. Or your Tinder profile for that matter. Continue reading

Panic Monster Abroad (part 1)

Anyone who knows me or has read between the lines of my posts will know that I worry about everything. Literally, everything. From your average concerns like ‘did I lock the door?’ and ‘do my hips look big in this?’ (they probably do, I’m not really sure why I continue to ask this question) to the slightly more disruptive ‘what if I get lost?’ or ‘what ifimage it kills me?’ Essentially, that part of How To Be Single where Dakota Johnson says super dramatically I TALK MYSELF OUT OF THINGS THAT I REALLY WANT TO DO is something I relate to on a spiritual level. I just worry so much it ends up not being worth it. Until now. Because on Thursday, Teamales, I’m going to New York City aka this panic monster is going abroad. So in order to prevent myself from having another mental breakdown, I’m going to share my fears with you and hopefully we can face/laugh at them (depending on how sympathetic you are) together.

Before I begin, remember my blog-anniversary giveaway is running at the mo and you can enter to win a fabulously feminist bundle HERE!

Firstly, you have to conquer the airport. Continue reading