How To Femalify Your Spotify

Yes, I have made up yet another word. Because the other day I overheard a conversation in which a guy turned to his friend and said ‘I’ve never had a proper conversation about music with a woman before- they just don’t get it.’ As someone who has Spotify playing in the background for at least two thirds of her life, I was understandably pissed off.

But this seems to be a common view. Everyone I’ve asked since seems to think that because your average woman doesn’t give a shit about Bob Geldof (haha omg wrong one I meant Bob Dylan- shows how much of a shit I don’t give) and knows all the words to 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton, their taste in music is less important than a man’s.

There’s always been notable snobbery surrounding music but it often affects women most- after all how many female rock bands can you name? Female rappers? Female instrumentalists? Women dominate pop and, as pop isn’t considered ‘cultured’, when women finally hear themselves represented and are all ‘omg I relate to this, it’s a woman singing about what it means to be a woman!’ (aka every time I hear Little Mix) they’re instantly labelled as knowing nothing about real music.

We all know the standard babes: Beyoncé, Sia, my childhood idol Katy Perry (we had matching jackets in 2012 it was magic) but the music industry doesn’t end there for women and so I’ve compiled a list of women who are both ruling my ears rn and super cultured. Fight me music snobs.

Chairlift (okay yes they’re a band with a 50:50 male to female ratio but the lady is the lead singer so it still counts): My favourite, favourite band. What would I run for the bus to, if not Moth to the Flame? What would I bop to in my room, alone, every Friday night if not Bruises? What kind of person was I before I could sing Crying In Public to everyone I see crying in public? Everything Chairlift released filled me with love and now I want to share them with you.

Recommended Album (RA): Moth

Banger to get you started (BTGYS): Moth to the Flame

Nao: Confession alert, I haven’t listened to her new album yet because I’m too busy crying over the fact that she didn’t win a Brit, however I’m a 11/10 fan of the songs I’ve heard so far. Everything she sings just sounds so subliminally sexy, it makes me want to whip off my PJs and gyrate against her microphone stand.

RA: For All We Know

BTGYS: Bad Blood

Grimes: If angels a) existed, b) could sing and c) were on helium then the result would be Grimes- not to be confused with the genre ‘grime’ which, as much as I love Skepta, is three and a half minutes’ worth of swear words different. I first heard about her after my friends saw her at Glastonbury last year and I’ve been dancing to her helium voice ever since. She won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but if you’re not sipping on her then I will.

RA: Art Angels

BTGYS: Venus Fly

Melanie Martinez: If a china doll sat on a glass shelf and starting singing tiny little shards of song, you’d reach the same level of preciousness as a Melanie Martinez album. She’s perfected the whole art to music ratio and is fringe goals, so if you’re looking for a diamond with too much hair and wondrously abstract lyrics then she’s your girl.

RA: Crybaby

BTGYS: Mrs Potato Head

Tove Lo: I BLADY love Tove Lo. Even if I majorly anglicise her name. I’m seeing her in London next month and I cannot wait. Not only does she have the beautiful feminist attitude that Scandinavia seems to produce so well, but her songs have the realist lyrics you’ve ever heard. Plus come on (not literally) her logo is a vagina. (Okay, maybe literally then)

RA: Queen Of The Clouds

BTGYS: Moments

Dagny: So understated but so irresistible. Listening to Dagny is like sitting in the garden eating sorbet on a summer’s day. And if you don’t have Backbeat on replay then… get Backbeat on replay.

RA: Ultraviolet EP

BTGYS: Backbeat

Jones: Jones is so wholesome- she reminds me of all the Waitrose organic Duchy vegetables rolled into one and laid across a John Lewis gingham tablecloth. Every song is just so pure that I actually feel like I’m becoming a better person each time I listen to her.

RA: New Skin

BTGYS: Hoops

Noonie Bao: Maybe I have a thing for women with insanely high, only-the-dog-can-hear voices or maybe Noonie Bao is just the ultimate Noonie Bae (see what I did there). Every time one of her songs comes on, my playlist instantly becomes 8x brighter.

RA: Noonia

BTGYS: Pyramids

Namika: Getting a little bit German in here- after all, English speakers aren’t the only ones making music. Namika is one of those top notch babes that just radiates goodness when she sings (even if you can’t understand what she’s saying. I’ve been learning German five years now and I’ve only just got the lyrics to ‘Lieblingsmench’ down).

RA: Nador

BTGYS: Wenn sie kommen

MUNA: Anyone who can sing the word ‘masochistic’ and still sound like a velvet truffle deserves a Grammy ASAP. MUNA is the perfect band to play in the background of a super chilled Lush bath (as long as you get out before ‘Everything’ because it’s a bit of an emosh one) and just melt into the sound.

RA: About U (this is fresh out the Spotify oven so get on this while it’s hot)

BTGYS: I Know A Place

To top it all off I’ve made the playlist here (along with some additional bangers) for you to listen to if you want to femalify your Spotify too. Share your favourite female artists below and I’ll add them to the playlist/my life.