Don’t Be So Hard On Your Elf

Unless you hadn’t noticed- and the only way not noticing would be justified is if you live in a world where War Is Over hasn’t already been played to death and the shops are still selling Easter eggs- Christmas is around the corner. Cue a heartwarming John Lewis advert (my new employer may I just VERY subtly add), 22 minute beauty vlogs ft. the entire Lush Christmas collection (Izzy my darling I’m looking at you) and loads of randomly titled sales of which the relevance I don’t understand but 7.5% off at Urban Outfitters? I’m not complaining. When it comes to Halloween I can be a bit of a Scrooge, so you’ll be pleased to know Christmas is my thang. Not only are my secret Santa skills on point, but I was the cow in my first nativity and we all know that whoever plays the cow essentially represents the essence of Christmas. Or at least that was what they told me when I was sat in the Wendy house crying because I wasn’t Mary.

So in acknowledgement of the most wonderful time of the year, here is a little donkey of a tag that invented and then nominated me for. (I thought it was about time I showed you mine) (And no, that is just as wrong in context as it is out of it so count your ignorance as bliss.) Let us commence with the rather festively titled: Holly Jolly Festive Tagimage

What’s your favourite thing about Christmas? I love all the seasonal products that you never knew you needed until December 1st when Costa release their Christmas menu and it takes you about three extra minutes to order because not only do you have to choose between small grande drink in take away hot milk soya substitute gluten free cream marshmallows cocoa dust in the shape of all the time you’ve wasted, now you also have to decide if you want a Tiramisu Latte or Black Forest Hot Chocolate. Obviously, whatever you pick must be accompanied by a mini Yule Log otherwise it might as well be January already. 

What Christmas movie do you NOT like to watch? This is hard because come Christmas I’m basically fluent in the MovieMix channel guide and I can confirm that it’s usually the films with an £8 budget using crushed polos as fake snow and where the Mum doubles up as Santa that end up being the unsung heroes of the Radio Times. If I had to pick my least favourites it would probably be Four Christmases (sorry Reese, I still love you) or Polar Express because the animation scares me. A lot. image

Is Santa real? I assume he is as I haven’t seen any elves at the Job Centre recently.

What is the worst Christmas present you have ever received? Don’t we all have that one auntie that’s not actually related but one of our Grandma’s friends that buys for you every year even though she can hardly spell your name? If not, you’re majorly missing out. I’ve unwrapped some top notch age 11-12 polka dot fleeces and pineapple shaped ice cube trays- it’s the highlight of my Christmas.

Or if you want a specific present, and of course this is just an opportunity to shame my childhood bestie here, Carla once bought me a wooden box. An empty wooden box. I’ve never doubted our friendship more. image

If you could be one of Santa’s reindeer which one would you be and why? I feel like Vixen would be the sassiest because I mean, come on, you can’t be called Vixen unless you can successfully click your fingers in a Z-formation, but my heart seems to be magnetically attracted to Dasher. Let’s go for Dasher. (Although, more importantly since when was it Donder? I was not aware we swapped Donner for something that sounds like a magazine that got pulled in the 80s.)

Without looking on the internet what is the best Christmas joke you know? (Don’t know any? Make one up!) Jess Glynne is the next elves’ rights activist in her latest single: Don’t be so hard on your elf. (Made that up on the spot but I’m rather fond of it already.) image

Name a Christmas song that you cannot live without. Extra points if it’s not played constantly. The Glee version of every Christmas song ever. Lea Michele’s voice on O Holy Night and Merry Christmas Darling is gold dust, and I love how Christmas seems to be the only time when it’s socially acceptable to whack the Glee CDs out and rave to a choir of misfit jazzhanded American young adults singing Wham! songs. Also shoutout to Joni Mitchell: River is a beauty.

What are your hopes and dreams for next year? World domination. But if not I’ll settle for visiting more art exhibits, taking more photos and finally finishing Game of Thrones. 16 is my lucky number so hopefully next year will be a good ‘un.

Thank you to your wonderfully festive Teamale faces- especially you. I see you mid mince pie scoffing- for reading this post. I hope it’s got you even more in the mood for Christmas and even though I don’t have any specific nominees for this post, I know loads of you are doing Blogmas, so this is the perfect tag to complete your blogging advent adventure.

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