Get Tea Know Me Tag

(I’m sorry that’s probably my worst pun yet)

If I’m going to lose my blog tag virginity it might as well be with the rather lovely Helen, right? (You can take a cheeky peak at her blog here) She nominated me for the Get To Know Me tag a few weeks ago and I was initially a bit apprehensive as I wanted my blog to promote my beliefs opposed to me, but then (I want to tell you some really empowering story about self-awakening but realistically) my ego told me to stop being such a martyr and I decided to do it. So now here we are, sandwiched between some controversial society posts, a little chance to get to know me- don’t pretend you don’t want to.

Are you named after anyone? I don’t think so, I’d ask my mum but she’s probably held up in Waitrose searching for organic ratatouille ingredients. I feel we should presume I’m not and await further update.

When was the last time you cried? Never again am I watching Wreck-It Ralph, reading All The Bright Places by Jennifer Nirven and leaving school in the same week, my eyes are like a drippy tap. Rather that or I should become a professional mourner.

Do you have kids? Does my build a bear count? If yes then yes, if no then no.

Responsible parenting

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? It depends if I could adjust my eyes to my overbearing tartan prints and neon yellow satchel.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, never… In all seriousness though, I don’t think I could live without sarcasm. I love making people laugh and sarcasm seems to be the key to the hearts of many.

Will you ever bungee-jump? Depends if I get cake at the end.

Umm…this isn’t Waitrose

What’s your favourite cereal? I hate cereal. I don’t like milk so I have to eat it dry which, like most raw things, is gross. Almost as gross as the word ‘gross’- it is such a horrible sounding word.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Probably their mood. When you’re in a group you always have to be able to search out the saddies and the grumpies before getting emotionally involved in their mood hoover problems and then having to pretend your Mum is calling (probably to ask about the ratatouille recipe) in order to escape. Equally, you might not want to socialise with the happies either as their optimism might force you into a competitive smiling match which will be forever engraved on your face if the wind changes.

Gromit and I

What is your eye colour? Well you’ve really opened Pandora’s Box now. My eyes- in the most simplistic terms- are magic; I have been friends with them for 16 and a bit years and so far no two people have described them with the same colour combination. So basically I’m the human equivalent of a rainbow crayon.

Scary movie or happy endings? I am a Disney kid through and through so happy endings all the way- although if I’m reading a book the predictability can be annoying.

Favourite smells? The Yankee Candle version of nice smells. Don’t ask me why, but whatever it is (even the scents you didn’t know existed like Mandarin Cranberry or Happy Birthday), smells 800x better from a jar.

One for the American audience

Summer or winter? Winter. I’m society’s anomaly because although I love the BBQs and the light evenings, I cant deal with the endless summer clothing stress: Do I need a jacket? Or a cardigan? Sleeves? DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TIGHTS (and wearing a cute skater skirt and the wind blowing and everyone seeing your watermelon print 3 for 2 M&S pants because all your friends on the group chat said ‘it’s too warm for tights’ and now I can never regain my dignity). Nah, in winter you chuck it all on and it becomes socially acceptable to waddle around looking like an abominable snowman.

Computer or television? If I’m completely honest I haven’t actually seen a computer since 2006, so I’m going to assume the person who created this tag is over the age of 37. Either way I’d pick the computer (and then use it to watch 4oD).

India

What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? I went to Goa in India when I was about 8 years old and it was incredible. Despite all the strange men stroking my hair.

Squad goals

Do you have any special talents? I’m pretty good at breathing, ngl.

Where were you born? Oh no please don’t make me confess. I tell everyone I was born in Oxford as all of my earliest memories are from when I lived in Enstone, a village in Oxfordshire, however I was actually born in a borderline average city called Basingstoke (no offence to anyone currently shopping in Festival Place right now). But let’s just say Oxford, yeah?

Do you have any pets? I used to have a cocker spaniel called Gromit (Marley and Me tears at the past tense) then I got exquisitely named fish (Lassie, Tika, Bobby Dazzler, Colin Farrell and Spare Fish Dave- who was renamed Spare Fish Jesus Dave as he resurrected and lived the longest despite being the freebie).

What do you want to be when you grow up? A Disney Princess.

Can’t you tell?

And now I pass the hypothetical baton over to the fabulous Maria at https://inspiredelegance.wordpress.com/ (some bonus questions that I ran out of time to answer are: Do you have any siblings? What are your hobbies? Favourite movie?)